Doechii The Don, Doechii The Dean, Doechii Supreme… and Me
Answering your questions about my cover profile of this queen
It took me about two months to get my Doechii profile into a state that didn’t make me want to ram my head into a wall upon reading, and like any self-flagellating writer, I will spend the rest of time finding places within the piece where I could’ve said more, could’ve said less, could’ve said something entirely different. But, and maybe it’s gauche to say this, I’m immensely proud of it. I’m immensely proud to have been tasked with this, immensely proud of the team that worked on this (our market editor, Emma Oleck, styled the shoot to the gods and Richie Shazam worked magic behind the camera), and immensely proud that we were able to meet Doechii at this massive moment in her life and career and be a vehicle in telling her story.
This past weekend, after dinner at a Soho establishment with a truly mid-bordering-atrocious ambiance (yeah, yeah, it’s Soho, what was I supposed to expect), I stumbled into Iconic Magazines for a palate cleanser and saw The Cut’s spring fashion issue (and thus my profile, duh) out in the wild. I’d seen it the week before at Casa Magazines, but this instance felt a little surreal, because next to The Cut’s issue was another cover story I wrote (Elyanna for Hommegirls). I kind of had one of those cliche “wait… I kind of am doing what I set out to do…” moments. I just felt a little overwhelmed, I guess, at the enormity of what this all would’ve meant to me at 19, when I was scared and confused about how life would unfold for me. I knew I wanted to leave Kansas — to move to New York, to become a writer, to try my hand at being somebody other than who I’d been. I didn’t really know anyone in the media or literary world, and my parents certainly had no connections to anyone here and no real money to make my transition a smooth one. But I tried. I tried really hard. I got a job as an assistant at The New York Times, I worked nights, I worked weeks straight without a day off, I commuted to freaking Times Square every day (imagine elbowing past a Mickey Mouse impersonator daily on your way to work), my hair fell out, my body attacked itself, I had mice eating my food and COHABITATING IN MY BED WITH ME (!!!!!!!), I pitched the stupidest stories to editors who I should not have been pitching stupid stories to (but I learned!), my bosses thought I was an idiot, and then they didn’t. One of my editors messaged me a tirade like I’d never seen at like 5 a.m. Another editor made jokes about me picking up his dry cleaning like in the good ole days. I know people have it way worse and are doing back-breaking labor and struggling just to live, but sometimes I’d go into a quiet meeting room, lie down on one of the couches, wait for the motion-sensing lights to go dark, and cry really hard for an allotted 15 minutes. Then I’d go back to my desk and build the front page of the newspaper before it was shipped across the country for almost a million people to see.
I’m not where I want to be just yet. I don’t feel like I’ve arrived per se, and wow do I have so much more to learn, but at one point, I wanted to do what I do now so badly. So very badly. And seeing two cover stories I wrote out in the world, at the same time, at a magazine shop in New York City made me tear up a little. It made me wonder if that’s a fraction of how my dad feels when looks at our safe, quiet home he bare-knuckled to make a reality.
Anyway, enough blabbing, the reason I’ve gathered you all here is because a few readers had questions about the writing process. Let’s get into it.
You Ask, I Answer:
@maureenwelton: What did you have to leave out? Anything you wanted to ask but had to cut for time?
I would’ve loved to have more time to observe how she moves through the outside world. We touched on it a bit, but that’s the fun, nitty gritty that, to me, really reveals a person.
For space, we had to cut the bit about her foray into acting (she starred in Savanah Leaf’s Earth Mama), but I’m sure there will be more on that front for Doechii in the future and maybe that’ll be a better time to get into that. She also told me she goes so hard in her music because she’s certain that she’s been reincarnated and that this life is a second chance — that in her past life, she didn’t live fearlessly, she didn’t make her dreams a reality, and feels compelled and called to do so in this iteration. We briefly mentioned it in the piece, but again had to cut it for space. To me, though, this was one of the most interesting things about her. It put her entire creative direction and ambition into context. How many people have near-death experiences and then dedicate their lives to living more intentionally? Now imagine actually feeling certain you did die.
@cassandraots: What’s something that surprised you about Doechii?
How inspired I was by her process as an artist. She is so sure of herself, her vision, her story and her trajectory. She really puts it all out there and trusts that her brain is going to guide her to a place or moment that feels both authentic and innovative. She’s a disciple of the Artist’s Way, and while I couldn’t get through it my first try and it’s gathering dust in a box somewhere, she's influenced me to crack it back open unfortunately.
She is also incredibly honest. If she has a thought, she says it. If she has a question, she asks it. She isn’t worried about how she’s perceived. She’s genuinely unbothered by your opinion of her. So refreshing.
@antoinettebefree: I can imagine the amount of material you had, and then when writing at such a high level of visibility for someone at the height of visibility (though there is more to come for Doechii) I would have no fingernails left after chewing them off. So, especially [curious about the] writing process for “high stakes” writing?
I love this question because my editor, Brooke Marine, who has the most amazing and patient brain, literally had to coax me into this editing process. I kept messaging her things like “my brain is mush” or “I don’t think I know how to write anymore” or “why is this so hard?” and honestly it was because I had stage fright. I knew people were going to read this, I knew the styling was amazing, I knew the photography was amazing, and if the writing fell flat, everyone would notice and whisper behind my back and throw eggs at my house or something. She and I went back and forth so many times on edits, big and small, and her gentle, guiding hand brought us to a place that feels like a solid profile (we only had 1900 words!!!!!) that digs deeper into an artist garnering global attention and on the precipice of becoming a generational icon. Like I said, in every piece of mine that goes to print, I will find a million things I’d like to change. I’ll always be like that. But I can hold all of my critiques and all of my pride in the same hand, no problem.
So, yes, I did chew my fingernails off, but the team I worked on this with at The Cut was so solid, they helped me glue those babies back on. I wish the general public knew how important good editors are to a story.
Thank you guys for reading this, for being so supportive and sending me such sweet messages. <3
Consumption Junction:
During my field trip to Iconic Magazines I also spotted a few copies of Byline, an indie darling publication founded and run by two of my friends. I sent a picture to one of the co-founders and one of my bestie girls, Megan O’Sullivan, of her piece in their issue next to my piece in The Cut. Senti.
One of my FAVORITE restaurant critics is a cat. I have no idea who this cat belongs to, I have no idea how he gets let into restaurants, I am only thankful that he exists. The human running the Pico Review is just so thoughtful and cheeky and obviously doing it for the love of the game. Who among us doesn’t relish in seeing a cat enjoy the wonders of the world?!?!
I’m really, very close to getting a flip phone again. I know we’ve kind of exhausted the conversation about how to minimize screen time, and it seems, like a real iPad baby, that the only way I’m going to feel truly tethered and connected to myself is by eliminating the desire altogether. I’m pretty good about not being on my phone when I’m out, but when I’m just lounging at home, the desire to scroll latches onto my brain like a greedy little leech. I already know what the internet mush is going to look like: a video of Trump looking like a vintage leather bag left in the sun for 60 years followed by an AI-made video of cats set to meows to the tune of “What Was I Made For,” and YET! I keep going back for more! Honestly, Blackberry and Motorola (via the Razr) are missing a major cultural shift happening right now - people want LESS time on their phones in HOT ways. If they re-released their products, with 5G and a solid option for call and text forwarding, I feel like they’d do remarkably well.
I finished The Bluest Eye and thus my first Toni Morrison novel. I put off reading her work for so long because I knew, in the wake of digesting her words, I would feel like the most inadequate writer to ever walk this earth. I did. It was beautiful.
I say “Doechii the don, Doechii the dean, Doechii supreme” about 5x a day
But also, thank you for sharing the behind the scenes!!!! Always love when writers open up like this so other writers can know we’re not alone in our insecurities etc.
I loved the Doechii piece! She's a genius. To the author, profile work is never done. If given license, I could write and rewrite and rewrite and rewrite, so I know how you feel. Great work!