Your writing is SO beautiful. This line did it for me:
Sometimes, I find myself running errands that don’t exist, driving down streets aimlessly, in the opposite direction of where I need to be. I think I’m searching for something — maybe a place where I still exist.
I identify so heavily with searching for pieces of myself in my hometown. It's weird leaving a place behind while also (maybe secretly) hoping that the place hasn't left you behind, too.
Thank you so much!!! And YES!!! It’s like if I were to find myself somewhere, at least in my current state, it would almost hurt more. If the whole place has moved on then maybe it’s permission for me to do the same.
Yes! What I realized a few years ago: everything in life is a circle. Everything, we return to in some way. Hopefully with more clarity. I know the nostalgia you are writing about so intimately. (Solange’s “When I Get Home” encapsulates this perfectly too.) Last time I was in West Virginia I all of a sudden noticed everything was surrounded by impossibly green dense mountains and it’s spectacular. I knew they were there, duh…I lived on top of one and looked at them everyday, but didn’t ever notice how truly incredible they were, how rare, until leaving and returning as an adult. I also kind of hate my hometown but feel the most serene and balanced when there. What do we do?! Sidenote: petition to jail that woman who ripped out that staircase.
This piece made me feel so much and is so incredibly inspiring! I'm Chinese Canadian and a second generation immigrant, grew up moving once a year, but currently live in London, UK. I resonate with this when I return to my parents' suburban home outside of Toronto. I, too, have to convince myself that I hate it somewhat, but I can't help but question my life choices when I see the mundane serenity of my childhood friend's lives.
There's quite a few lines that stick out to me, but the paragraph with this was spot on: "There’s a promise in suburbia, false of an idol as it may be. At least, one I’ve sold myself...Life, I’m convinced, is filled with a sense of ease here. The places you need to go never seem far and grief feels as though it happens elsewhere, even when it’s taking root in your own home."
Absolutely love your writing and can't wait to read more of your work!
I live in my hometown now and there’s some weird strength that comes from the place you grew up, like a connection between your confidence and comfort as a kid. It’s hard to describe. Also I’m convinced life is slower the further apart houses are. Great piece! I’m looking forward to reading more :)
Your writing is SO beautiful. This line did it for me:
Sometimes, I find myself running errands that don’t exist, driving down streets aimlessly, in the opposite direction of where I need to be. I think I’m searching for something — maybe a place where I still exist.
I identify so heavily with searching for pieces of myself in my hometown. It's weird leaving a place behind while also (maybe secretly) hoping that the place hasn't left you behind, too.
Thank you so much!!! And YES!!! It’s like if I were to find myself somewhere, at least in my current state, it would almost hurt more. If the whole place has moved on then maybe it’s permission for me to do the same.
a concept i’ve been thinking a lot about lately is needing to leave to be able to return to things, and i think you captured that beautifully 💕
Thank you so much
Yes! What I realized a few years ago: everything in life is a circle. Everything, we return to in some way. Hopefully with more clarity. I know the nostalgia you are writing about so intimately. (Solange’s “When I Get Home” encapsulates this perfectly too.) Last time I was in West Virginia I all of a sudden noticed everything was surrounded by impossibly green dense mountains and it’s spectacular. I knew they were there, duh…I lived on top of one and looked at them everyday, but didn’t ever notice how truly incredible they were, how rare, until leaving and returning as an adult. I also kind of hate my hometown but feel the most serene and balanced when there. What do we do?! Sidenote: petition to jail that woman who ripped out that staircase.
WE NEED TO REBUILD THE STAIRS
this was BEAUTIFUL and happened to come to me as I'm in my Michigan hometown, on a brief hiatus from London, so lets just say I felt things
Thank you so so much, wow London to Michigan?! the universe really served this up on a platter and said “this is for YOU”
Haha yes! It really did feel like you were speaking directly to me :)
"a place where i still exist" cryyyyyyy
This piece made me feel so much and is so incredibly inspiring! I'm Chinese Canadian and a second generation immigrant, grew up moving once a year, but currently live in London, UK. I resonate with this when I return to my parents' suburban home outside of Toronto. I, too, have to convince myself that I hate it somewhat, but I can't help but question my life choices when I see the mundane serenity of my childhood friend's lives.
There's quite a few lines that stick out to me, but the paragraph with this was spot on: "There’s a promise in suburbia, false of an idol as it may be. At least, one I’ve sold myself...Life, I’m convinced, is filled with a sense of ease here. The places you need to go never seem far and grief feels as though it happens elsewhere, even when it’s taking root in your own home."
Absolutely love your writing and can't wait to read more of your work!
thank you so much for your kind comment! mundane serenity is the PERFECT phrase to describe what it is I sometimes really, deeply crave.
I live in my hometown now and there’s some weird strength that comes from the place you grew up, like a connection between your confidence and comfort as a kid. It’s hard to describe. Also I’m convinced life is slower the further apart houses are. Great piece! I’m looking forward to reading more :)
Super intrigued by this theory about slow living and house distance
beautiful read and i'm not surprised :') yay
I ADORE YOU!!!
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