Was New York more fun when Studio 54 existed?
An investigation in conversation with mother-daughter duo, Nicolaia Rips and Sheila Berger.
From my vantage point, Studio 54 seemed to be the pinnacle of fun, at least in its heyday. I’ve always wondered what it was like not only to party there, but to exist in its orbit and within that era at all — what it might have been like to live my twenties out then instead of here and now with a smartphone glued to my hand, siphoning away any glimmer of focus I may give to anything else. The only way to find out for sure is to ask someone who was there.
In a continuation of our fun week exploration, I chatted with the notably gorgeous, infinitely interesting, incomparably cool mother-daughter duo Nicolaia Rips (daughter lol) and Sheila Berger (mother). I wanted to know just how different their young adulthoods feel/felt as two women whose twenties both take place with New York City as the backdrop, but in starkly different eras. Nicolaia is a prolific writer (her memoir about growing up in the Chelsea Hotel was published when she was just 17) and she’s currently the features editor at Hommegirls. Sheila was a model in the ‘80s (hello, I found her Vogue Germany cover!!!) and is now a terrifically moving artist. Some of her work centers on and depicts birds, like this sculpture in particular, which makes me want to cry for some reason.
In hearing Sheila discuss her experience, especially compared to Nicolaia’s and mine, it feels both similar, marked with some of the same worry and anxiety being twenty-something can bring, and shockingly different. It seems as though there’s something deeply solid and tangible about Sheila’s young adulthood — distinct memories and characters and rituals (most weekends, her hairdresser friend gathered Sheila and their drag queen friends, did their hair one by one, and they’d head to Studio 54 to rub elbows with Andy Warhol and Calvin Klein) that seems elusive to me. The life and New York I’ve come to know in my later twenties is a sprawling one — a net that is wide, incongruous, distantly dazzling and whose ends are ever unattainable. Sure, there are central characters and frequent places and joy! Real joy! But there is a nagging sensation that whatever it is I might be doing might be too much (is someone recording me on their phone?) or too little (are my friends having more fun somewhere else?) Obviously, I’d my iPhone to be the sole culprit, but between talking with Sheila about how present she was in her twenties and asking Liana Satenstein for tips on how to be less addicted to my phone, I’m well on my way to flip phone status. But, anyway, back to the present.
Water Cooler Chat:
Conversations with people in my orbit:
Danya
Sheila, how long have you lived in New York?
Sheila
Oh my gosh, I first came to New York in 1978.
Danya
Wow. How old were you?
Sheila
I was 18.
Danya
A baby. How would you describe your twenties in the city at that time? What was the feeling for you?
Sheila
I barely remember them. It was fun. I was a model. I was in the fashion world. Studio 54 getting dressed up, going out experimenting with everything. I think of Nicolaia as being a lot more responsible than I've been. Always made curfew.
Nicolaia
I think, growing up in New York, there's so much you can really get up to. And I would say I got into none of that, which was not for lack of trying. I think my friend group was just so law-abiding and so we were just sitting in somebody's basement. I really didn't take advantage of the city as a teenager.
But I think there was always you wanting me to enjoy myself more. And I think it took me getting into my twenties, I think it took Covid, honestly, to finally be like, Okay, maybe she's on to something.
Sheila
I'm glad you play a lot more now, really.
Danya
Sheila, I'm dying to know what it was like to be at Studio 54. I feel like whenever I'm at a big party, there's some sort of part of me that can't fully let loose, and maybe it's because everybody has phones. It's hard to fully go into play mode. And I'm curious if it was different for you when you were in your twenties.
Sheila
Well, I think it was. I came from an orthodox family also, and it was so restrictive that once I moved to New York City, I was completely on my own. And I went extremely to the other side. So I became pretty wild. And then it was also growing up in an upper middle class Jewish family where I went to a public school that was mostly Jewish — it was a great school, and the kids were smart — and everyone went to college. I sort of skipped that part. And when I came to New York to model, I was able to really, really be who I wanted to be at that time.
Danya
So you just felt a lot of freedom in a way?
Sheila
Oh, complete freedom. But it was hard too. Because the deal I made with my parents was that I had to be self-sufficient. And so there was pressure, too, and I was working full time, so it was a job, but it was also fun. And, of course, growing up, I didn't know gay people. And suddenly I was meeting trans people, gay people, people of all nationalities and cultures. And it was really exciting. My best friend was a gay hairdresser, and his lover was a drag queen, and every weekend, he would sit down and do my hair and makeup, then he would do his lover's hair and makeup, and then a few other drag queens, and we would all go to Studio 54 together. And the line would part because how you dressed was everything, okay? And the drag queens were, of course, the best dressed, and so the crowd just parted like the Red Sea. I'm not kidding. Just parted when we came in. It was fun.
Danya
That is so iconic.
Sheila
We had attitude. I had a lot of attitude. You don't think of me as somebody with attitude, do you Nic?
Nicolaia
I think you have attitude. I think you have a lot of spunk. I think you have a problem with authority, for sure.
Sheila
Yeah, that's for sure.
Danya
Nicolaia, for you, you said Covid kind of helped you tap into your play a little bit more. What about Covid helped you do that?
Nicolaia
I was in my senior year of college, and everyone went back home. I was here at the Chelsea with my parents, which was so nice, but I just kept feeling, as a 22 year old, this is such a waste. I feel like I am rotting, wasting away and not doing anything. No offense. I love them so much and we had such a fun time. But after I moved out, it was just making up for lost time. I feel like the city was so vibrant post-Covid.
Danya
Do you feel like you've fulfilled your fun meter since then? Or do you feel like you're yearning for more? Do you feel satisfied in the way that you're spending your twenties?
Nicolaia
I do feel satisfied. I think I'm preoccupied with a lot of the same things that I know my mom was going through. We were looking through boxes in my mom’s studio and we found all these receipts that had little budget entries. Everything was so meticulously written out and you’d written anxieties that you would have. I do think of you as having had more fun than me [in your twenties], and I just remembered seeing those and thinking like, Oh, this is exactly how I think, too. And it was so comforting. It wasn't all just no phones, partying with drag queens, best time ever. It was also like, oh, how am I gonna stay afloat? I also think that fun goes in waves.
Sheila
One of the big differences between your generation partying and mine back then is that, because we didn't have cell phones, you would plan whatever it is on a landline, and then your evening was planned. You were really present in your evening, and then you would meet other people when you went to Studio, and then you go to an after hours party. It would just roller coaster. It was spontaneous and very present. When you're sitting there talking, you're talking with the person next to you. You're not on your phone.
Nicolaia
I think with the phones, I'm constantly like, Oh, who's going? Where? Where are my friends going? There's this urge to seek out the most fun that could possibly be had on a given night knowing that so many things are happening in New York, and I wish I didn't know.
Sheila
It would start at 10 in the morning on a Saturday, like, Where are you gonna go? Are you gonna go to this party, that party? And you would discuss that, and then that was it. You would meet up.
Danya
I’m so glad that you brought that up, because I was curious what that felt like — to plan. And I've kind of noticed this among my friends, there's like a thing in our brains that's missing in terms of planning. And I just know my parents weren't doing this. And then, Nicolaia, like you said, we're always aware of what's going on in the city, even if we don't want to be like, even if someone's not texting me to be like, Hey, come here, someone might text me and I'll look at my phone and it just takes you out of the moment. And so maybe that's what it is. Maybe we're having the same amount of fun, but we're just a little less present in the fun that we're having.
Sheila
Also, you're connected to a lot more people. So there's a lot more things going on and a lot more things to choose from, and a lot more that comes up within a given couple of minutes. I don't know how you focus really.
Nicolaia
The question I was going to ask is, because you were in the fashion world, Mom, and we're both writers, I think there's also a lot of like partying for work. Did you feel that?
Sheila
Definitely. I was a model. So Studio 54, all the hairdressers were there, the designers were there. You would see Calvin Klein sitting over at a table with Mick Jagger and Andy Warhol and they were all out. Everybody was out. Liza Minnelli was out. They were all out. Studio 54 was work. But really, it didn't feel like work. It was fun, but it did feel like you had to turn out and look great.
Nicolaia
Like, one of the people in this room could hire me, right?
Danya
Sheila, do you feel like at this point in your life, your fun meter feels like it's the same amount of like full as was in your twenties?
Sheila
It’s very low. The fun meter is very low. It’s shifting into really planning your meals, like really good meals, a good piece of cake. Having your morning coffee is like a big high in the morning.
Nicolaia
You have your dinner parties. You're constantly busy.
Sheila
That's the fun part.
Nicolaia
You're more socially engaged, I think, than I am. Even as a kid, how often were people over for cocktail parties? You would have a lot of parties. When I was a kid and we had a tiny apartment, we would stuff 60 or 70 people in.
Sheila
Now, I'm living a little bit vicariously, I have to admit, through Nic. I love hearing about your parties and your situations. The stories. Well, you're such a good storyteller. You're hilarious.
Danya
You guys are so sweet. I love watching you guys interact.
Nicolaia, I'm glad you brought up the amount of work parties that we go to in media, and then also both being kind of fashion adjacent. How do you feel about those? Are you ever liked Oh my God, another brand activation party at some bar in the Lower East Side?
Nicolaia
I feel that I've again gone in waves of understanding with the brand activations. But there was a while where I would just like, RSVP yes to basically everything, but I do think I have now gotten to a different point where I don't know if I want to go to as many of these. I'm getting a little burnt out from it just because one or two can be fun, but it just starts to feel less fun and more like an office party.
Danya
I did the exact same thing. I said yes to everything. It feels so annoying to be like, Oh, I'm burnt out of going to these parties. But, I mean, it's corporate at the end of the day, so maybe that's what it is.
Nicolaia
Have you ever done party reporting?
Danya
Yeah, you just become this omniscient presence instead of just being out. You have to be above the party, watching the whole thing the whole time, instead of being a part of the movement, which is fine sometimes, but other times you're being this voyeur. I look like a freak, I'm sure.
Nicolaia
Yeah, it's so perverse. Being a writer is being a pervert, and I'm just standing there, taking notes on my phone. I covered the Charli XCX Boiler Room, and everybody was dancing and having a good time. And I was like doing a little shimmy while I took notes. It was crazy to be completely aware of everything that was going on. She's so great. But I definitely did start at points to feel a little jealous of the people just dancing.
Danya
What do you do for fun, Nicolaia?
Nicolaia
I love dancing. I went to Basement for the first time. Not to drink the Basement Kool Aid, but I had an amazing time. They put stickers on your phone so there's a suggestion of being more present so you're not taking photos. It was one of those more organic nights, where people were like, should we go dancing? I was out until like 5 a.m.
Sheila
Dancing is the best. And she's my favorite dance partner.
Danya
Are you a good dancer?
Sheila
I think I taught you to dance, right Nic?
Nicolaia
I don’t get enough opportunities to dance. That's something I think about often, even at a big, really fun party, like a Fashion Week party or something, there's not that much dancing.
Danya
That's what I crave. I crave dancing. I think people our age don't know how to dance.
Nicolaia
Were there other places besides Studio 54 that you went, Mom?
Sheila
Oh yeah, there was Xenon. There was World. Area was great. Limelight.
Nicolaia
Is there anything that's held over?
Sheila
No, they're gone.
Danya
I do feel like there's like a huge gap in fun places for us to go. All the places we go to also feel like they just become overrun by TikTok.
Nicolaia
Tiktok, for sure. There's like, a combination of the local spot that's been TikTokified, and then there's the “pop up.”
Sheila
Studio was an event. When you would go there, they hired people to perform. At the entrance, they had it set up like show windows. So, often, there were people inside glass cases as you were coming in. I remember there was one, I think it might have been around Thanksgiving, they hired circus actors and they were dining. They were hired to eat a feast. They had long tables set up as you came into Studio. Another day they might have Gogo dancers.
Nicolaia
What was the cover? Would you pay?
Danya
Look at her face. She never paid.
Sheila
I never paid.
Nicolaia
Do you feel that you had the most fun in your twenties?
Sheila
My most fun was always involved in traveling. So I guess between the ages of 25 and 46.
Nicolaia
But what was your most fun going out?
Sheila
My twenties. Well, when I lived in Paris, I was going to Bains Douches, and all of that Ska was really in and pirate music. Bains Douches was a renovated bathhouse underneath.
Nicolaia
Were there shenanigans happening in the bathhouse?
Sheila
There's always shenanigans happening in a club, especially the bathroom.
Danya
It's not a club unless there's shenanigans happening. So I have two years left in my twenties, not that life ends when you hit 30. But what advice would you give to me or to Nicolaia?
Sheila
You know what, I think my twenties were my most stressful. You feel like you have to be self- supporting, even if you have a family that can help you out. There's a lot of pressure, because you're still trying to figure it out in your twenties, and then by the time you get into your thirties, you will have it kind of ironed out. You'll relax into it. I think it's easier. So I'm going to tell you now, it will all happen. It's all going to work out. And any choice you make will be fine, and it will lead you down a certain path. And then you will do that, and then maybe something else will come down, and you'll go that way, and it's all good. It's all fine. Even if it's bad, it's fine, because you learn from that too. So it doesn't matter. Don't worry about it. You can't make a wrong choice.
Consumption Junction:
Objects, thoughts and media rattling around in my mind:
Absolutely appalled and distraught to announce the most recent victim of shrinkflation: the ice cream sandwich. Friend To The Newsletter Alex Hildreth (a.k.a.
to the more online folk) posted a photo of her tragically thin dessert (pictured below). I DM’d her, immediately aghast, asking if there had been some mix up — perhaps she hadn’t read the box closely? Nope. It was a regular batch of Nestle vanilla sandwich “classics.” Classics?!?! I think not.
exhibit A In better news, I won a Tamagotchi this week at The Cut’s movie screening (the magazine has started hosting events in tandem with our themed editorial rollouts, so for cheaters week, we were treated to a screening of First Wives Club (which you all know I love) and an accompanying bingo game). I had a Tamagotchi when I was 10 and was a devout caretaker. This time around, I killed the virtual little alien within three days, but I’ve hatched a new egg and am determined to keep it alive. I forgot how needy they are though…
I thought my Tamagotchi had evolved into a flying alien but this was actually his soul leaving his body after he died due to being neglected for four hours… Vogue’s brilliant Emma Specter’s book More Please about “food, fat and bingeing” is out in the world, and I can’t wait to read it.
My mercury levels are likely through the roof because I cannot stop eating sushi multiple times a week. I found a scrumptious place in Williamsburg but am on the hunt for the best and normal-priced sushi if anyone has suggestions.
The guy behind the New York Metro Weather account is a HANDSOME storm chaser and I profiled him for The Cut.
VESPAS HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED IN NEW YORK. For years now, I have been begging the universe to form some sort of Vespa culture here in New York City, and I finally think it’s happening. I’m seeing these little motor guys more and more frequently on the road and parked along streets, at least in Manhattan. It’s only a matter of time until I’m riding around on a bubble gum pink one of my own.
I stopped by the Paloma Elsesser, Steff Yotka, Gabriella Karefa-Johnson, Lynette Nylander, Ariella Starkman and Daphne Seybold (whew) closet sale, and the vibes were very good. I spent more money than I should have, but alas, what else is one to do at a size-inclusive fashion mecca. It was pretty sweet and wholesome watching Paloma float around the room and help shoppers pick and choose what to buy and how to wear their pieces. Each seller is choosing a mutual aid fund or organization to donate a portion of proceeds toward.
Team Palestine rolling into the Olympics goes incredibly hard. If you have the funds, please consider donating to a grassroots organization like Healing Our Homeland to help the Palestinians in Gaza.
Adore!!
This was so cute and lovely !!!!!